How Free Are You?
So often I hear “After all, we’re only human” or “That’s fine, you’re just human.”
You’ve probably said it yourself as a placating remark to console the “human” you’re talking to at the time.
But what are you really saying?
Is this a sense somehow of forgiving others (and yourself!) for being human? (i.e. for being yourself?)
Surely this is not necessary?
Therefore, do these words reflect an underlying belief that Jane’s (for example) is not really acceptable, but rather understandable because of her “human” status?
In effect, do you permanently judge yourself and others for being merely human?
By “forgiving” Jane and saying “Don’t worry – that’s Ok, You’re only human” – you’re in effect creating a position of Right/Wrong or OK/Not OK to make Jane feel better and more at ease.
But – does she really need permission to feel this?
Does she need to apologise for being who she is?
Being human is to be embraced, not excused.
Jane’s feelings are just that – her feelings. And that’s what makes Jane, Jane.
You can’t validate them or change the situation for her.
It’s imperative to let her feel it. Feel it and express it. In her words.
You probably also enjoy helping others – giving them advice – creating breakthroughs – pushing them to their next level of growth and so forth.
But do you also create a place of encouragement to express exactly how they feel?
Without apology or embarrassment for being exactly as they are.
Authenticity is a “buzzword” at the moment – and one I’m buying into. But in order to be authentic, I need to know who I am. And, unfortunately, this doesn’t “just happen” - as I’ve been created by beliefs, conditioning, pains, fears, hurts etc. At any time, my behaviour or perceived behaviour is a result of all of this combined! To break it down however, is the beginning of understanding.
Due to the nature of being authentic, on any given day I feel all sorts of feelings. Because I’ve freed them to be expressed. As a human.
For too many years I didn’t do this – my heart was closed. To myself and to others.
A heart ‘closes’ to be safe from hurts – but at the same time it shuts down from real love and true acceptance. As long as you choose to live from a closed heart perspective, it’s hard to accept anyone else as being authentic, real and just free.
Start by allowing yourself to be free.
But know that this comes with feeling. Good, bad and indifferent.
As Benjamin Disraeli says, “Never apologise for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologise for the truth.”
So - let’s remove the excuses for being “merely” human and rather talk about being Completely Human. This doesn’t mean you “forgive” everyone their seeming faults from your perspective on life. But rather that you connect with them at an open heart’s space knowing that everyone is equal and shares all the same emotions.
Albeit in different cycles of life.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
~e.e. cummings
It then becomes easier to accept others as they really are.
Submitted by Heidi Cornelissen, Completely Human
