Coaching
My First Exposure to Life Coaching....
I absolutely believe that people, unless coached, never reach their maximum capabilities.
- Bob Nardelli, President and CEO of Home Depot
Funny enough my journey with Life Coaching started with a magazine article. And not even an article I came across myself. A friend gave me a copy, wanting my opinion on it, potentially being something he thought he may be interested in.
I was a defensive skeptic towards anyone claiming to know me better than I know myself. And heaven help those who offered ways for me to get to know myself better!
Let’s get real – I’d lived with myself all my life – why would I need to dig deeper and delve into who I was - all in the name of discovering the old cliché of an ultimate life purpose.
Despite all these negative preconceptions, the Universe nudged me forward and I committed to six sessions with the author of the article I’d been exposed to - someone called a Life Coach.
I write this now – after my six sessions have ended - as a different person. Or perhaps just a more real version of the same person?
I started my unnerving first session with the serious belief that I was crazy – or damn near close to it – with my life seemingly out of control. I had too many balls in the air and lived in fear of trampling the eggshells I’d created as my constant footpath. My list of “wants” seemed endless and - more worrying to me – they all appeared conflicting. Today I battle to believe I felt, let alone said, the things I did.
I now have proof that fundamental and soul changing shifts can happen over a surprisingly short period of time.
As with many neatly laid out plans, unforeseen changes are guaranteed. The strength in a relationship and journey such as this is in its morphological nature. Each session cleverly moulded around what my needs were - then and there.
As a rule, I hate repeating myself and am acutely aware of what I’ve said previously and particularly to whom. The liberation of speaking to a Coach came with the freedom to rehash an idea or concept – allowing me to fully understand it!
The coaching process delivers a lot through guidance, leadership, highlighting patterns and raising awareness. Learning is undoubtedly facilitated. During a number of sessions I ‘accused’ my coach of making me think.
Life coaching is nothing revolutionary. As children someone held our hand as we took our first steps into the world of independence. And so, as adults, we may also need to reach out and allow someone to hold our hand through change and exploratory processes. Looking back I know that the answers acquired and the journey itself were my own, but the guided, professional hand-holding was as important as the process itself.
I now live in a comfortable space, enjoying being myself. I know I’m not crazy. I’m just me. And that’s perfect in itself.
There are three ways I learn. With my mind. With my body. With my heart. Learning using all three these faculties ensures I absorb. Absorption ensures complete understanding.
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I learnt to listen (and hear) the way I say things – shifting responsibility from the comfortable word “they” who don’t touch my emotional space to the uncomfortable word “me”.
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I understood that I never have to provide justification for who I am or what I feel.
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I learnt that people’s stuff is their stuff. Leave it there.
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I understood the value of not focusing on the outcome of everything I do. By being the real me in every minute of every day – everything (including me) is as it should be. Always. Perfectly.
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I have redefined both the concept and the word ‘Perfect’ to myself and in my world.
I’m challenged by the words of Jonathan Winters, “If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it.”
I think I’m ready. I’ve grown some fins.
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